Quiet voices, but tough decisions: shouting doesn't work.

Shouting is a sign of weakness. It is an attempt to send a strong message. But the others just get used to the noise, or else they've heard shouting before and they know  the shouter won't actually do zilch. 

They know they can just endure some shouting and keep on being the way they are. 

This truth applies to parenting, families organizations -- everywhere. 

Screams and cussing pollute the atmosphere with spiritual filth, which is the only effect they really have. Better to be the the one who does not need to shout to get attention. 

#InCaseYourMomDidntTellYou

Happiness requires strength.

Being happy requires guiding oneself on the right path with a firm, steady hand. 

Sticking to the right long-term strategy is staying on course. Emotions, temptations and whims are random winds pulling and pushing which ever way.

Many end up as a shipwreck because they are too weak to stay the course. But choosing to be strong or weak, we encounter pain at some point. There is no such thing as painless life.  

#InCaseYourMomDidntTellYou

If they did it twice, they will keep doing it.

The greatest firmness is the greatest mercy.

Two times is a pattern. If a person in your life does/says something you cannot stand; decide if you can just put up with it. If not, they should not be a part of your life. 

Maybe you don't love them that much, if this little thing is a deal breaker. Maybe it's not little but really non-negotiable, like infidelity, physical abuse, drugs. 

Either way, "giving them a chance" involves chance, which is gambling. Gambling some months or even years of your time on Earth, and some other, truly great opportunities. Maybe, maybe, maybe -- knock on wood -- they will change. Actually, they won't, but maybe-maybe-maybe. In a year or two. Or in ten. Your life, though is evaporating right now. 

So, either shut up and put up with it, because you need them as they are. Or if you cannot, then just  tell them to see you when they are a different person. 

This may be harsh on on them -- and on you -- but short-term pain is better than a major life disaster.

 

#InCaseYourMomDidn'tTellYou